13
Jun 13

To Speak the Truth

We must See and Listen before we can Speak the Truth

Faith

Humility

Innocence

Faith is needed so we may turn from our own egos and trust in the universal wisdom within

With Humility, we speak without fear.  No ego = no protective shadings on our words.

If we know our own Innocence, we speak without defense.  If we know another's, we listen without judgment.

In humility I have been silent; humbled by a growing awareness of how far I have yet to go on this journey of growth.

In humility, now I speak.

To teach so I may learn.

To share without ego.

Aware my perceptions are clouded, I listen for clearer vision.

As I seek for where I am wrong, I find where I am close to truth.

Laughter

Balance

Suspending judgment

 

A new moon meditation for the June Moon cycle, associated with the Clan Mother "Speaks the Truth" (The 13 Original Clan Mothers by Jamie Sams)


 

Share on Facebook
29
Sep 12

Integrity in Work Clothes

After a couple months of procrastination, I finally committed to doing a daily review; short journaling at the end of the day about areas of disharmony or discontent, what I did and felt and how I would like to have handled the situation.  I was feeling rather satisfied when, in the first week, I had several days with no events of note for which I recalled being in disharmony.

On further reflection, it seems that disharmony has a meaning beyond being in conflict with another.  This just-past Blue Moon cycle of reflection called me into "living the truth";  manifesting Purpose as a way of daily being.  From that perspective, any moment I am not in alignment with Purpose is a moment of disharmony.

Maybe that's the real reason I've found it so hard to take up the daily review practice.  My "events" are not harsh words with, or ill will towards, another.  My disharmony comes in the form of wasting time, not caring for my body and allowing imbalance to develop in my life.

Eight years ago today, I pledged to live my life in integrity, in all areas, no matter what the consequences.  When I act with integrity I can feel it through my entire body.  Spirit and body harmonize.  Integrity = Oneness.  For me, integrity is much easier in big ways than little.  When I make a major decision based on integrity, I have faith that things will work out as they need to.   For the past eight years, I've laid the mosaic tiles of my life with integrity.  The composition is not what I envisioned, but it is harmonious.

The mortar between the tiles is where I have my issues.  I am great with integrity, but not so good at the discipline that it takes to anchor those mosaics firmly in the earth of daily living.  When I DO have the discipline to work through the seemingly endless piles of "do" necessary to keep the mill wheel turning, I feel more at ease.   Clearing my desk, catching up on bookkeeping or having a clean house give me harmony.

What if discipline is really just integrity in working clothes?

I've made an effort to be more conscious in the mortar of my life.  Observing the effects of my daily derailments and self-sabotage, I have become aware how pointless they are.  It is amazing how often I still do them, however.  Awareness has not been enough.

Maybe it's time to reach for that feeling of oneness when I notice distraction.  Time to bring integrity into the small moments.  Discipline is not forcing oneself to act correctly.  It is a gentle traction that brings action into the service of Purpose.

 

 

Share on Facebook
12
Jul 12

Yin my Yang

We went fishing tonight, to catch catfish for tomorrow's dinner.  The catfish only begin to bite as dusk descends, so we fished until we couldn't see our bobbers any more.  I tripped on the way home in the dark and skinned my knee.  Prescription:  A soaking bath in eucalyptus, tea tree oil, grapefruit seed extract and Patchouli    Considering that we had just caught and killed 7 catfish, it was fair payback.  Blood for blood doesn't seem like an unfair trade to the Universe.  Creation always finds a way to balance herself.

When I started my Circle of Self  journey four months ago, a search for balance was one of my primary goals.  My bath was a good time to find it.  About fifteen years ago, in a book by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, I read that every person has a Word which summarizes their mission in life.  I immediately knew my word was BE.  I have come to know the indivisible shadow of that word is Balance.

I recently returned from a vacation with my extended family.  Three generations spanning almost 70 years, made possible by the financial foresight of our deceased parents.  I confess to being a typical self-employed entrepeneur; I took my computer, self-improvement material, documents to review and "projects" to work on.  I participated in one corporate conference call and  finished one macrame bracelet.  Shamelessly, I spent the rest of my 7 days enjoying sun, surf, sand, sons and siblings (as well as grand-siblings and siblings-in-law).

When I came home, I had to fight the primal message that I must "pay" for the time off.  That somehow my good times must now be offset by bad (suffering).  Instead, my morning meditations show me a vision of discipline leading to peace.  At the start of this month's moon cycle, my focus was on working with my creative self to create balancing among financial, work and leisure aspects.  I am experiencing how love and nurturing feed productivity and growth.  The best self-discipline is fueled by love and Love knows the fruits of discipline.

My image of the traditional Yin and Yang symbol is dynamic, not static.  I envision it as constantly swirling. The light or dark contra-point in each half growing to subsume the original.  Then a point of the opposite aura immediately appears in the center of each color to repeat the cycle.

The yin-yang symbol is central in my life-imagery.  I've rendered that image in tie-dye, macrame, window art and doodling.  In my life, my creative drive leads me to leave things before they are finished.  Then the unfinished things fester until they swamp me and I have to deal with them.  Soon, all work and no play make Jill a cranky wife and mother, and I need some horse-time to get me back in balance.

I have spent much of this month facing and embracing my constraints.  Tonight I can see how they are interconnected with my talents.  The blossoming of one part of my life pulls behind it the seed of its counterpart.  Recognizing it as an ebb and flow; the swirling yin-yang,  I can utilize the balance that is inherent in the cycle of life.

I realize how my constraints and struggles are also the source of my greatest feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment.  I am coming to value the effort I put into daily accomplishing tasks such as bookkeeping or housekeeping.   Doing so gives me peace of mind for playing with my horses or playing my guitar.  Each time I experience that small dot in the center of either side of "creativity" or "productivity" growing and cycling through, I know I have grown.

After all, work without creativity is not truly productive and creativity is only wind without work to bring it to life.

Well, Yin my Yang:  This cowgirl just might be on to something.

Share on Facebook