29
Sep 12

Integrity in Work Clothes

After a couple months of procrastination, I finally committed to doing a daily review; short journaling at the end of the day about areas of disharmony or discontent, what I did and felt and how I would like to have handled the situation.  I was feeling rather satisfied when, in the first week, I had several days with no events of note for which I recalled being in disharmony.

On further reflection, it seems that disharmony has a meaning beyond being in conflict with another.  This just-past Blue Moon cycle of reflection called me into "living the truth";  manifesting Purpose as a way of daily being.  From that perspective, any moment I am not in alignment with Purpose is a moment of disharmony.

Maybe that's the real reason I've found it so hard to take up the daily review practice.  My "events" are not harsh words with, or ill will towards, another.  My disharmony comes in the form of wasting time, not caring for my body and allowing imbalance to develop in my life.

Eight years ago today, I pledged to live my life in integrity, in all areas, no matter what the consequences.  When I act with integrity I can feel it through my entire body.  Spirit and body harmonize.  Integrity = Oneness.  For me, integrity is much easier in big ways than little.  When I make a major decision based on integrity, I have faith that things will work out as they need to.   For the past eight years, I've laid the mosaic tiles of my life with integrity.  The composition is not what I envisioned, but it is harmonious.

The mortar between the tiles is where I have my issues.  I am great with integrity, but not so good at the discipline that it takes to anchor those mosaics firmly in the earth of daily living.  When I DO have the discipline to work through the seemingly endless piles of "do" necessary to keep the mill wheel turning, I feel more at ease.   Clearing my desk, catching up on bookkeeping or having a clean house give me harmony.

What if discipline is really just integrity in working clothes?

I've made an effort to be more conscious in the mortar of my life.  Observing the effects of my daily derailments and self-sabotage, I have become aware how pointless they are.  It is amazing how often I still do them, however.  Awareness has not been enough.

Maybe it's time to reach for that feeling of oneness when I notice distraction.  Time to bring integrity into the small moments.  Discipline is not forcing oneself to act correctly.  It is a gentle traction that brings action into the service of Purpose.

 

 

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16
Sep 12

Becomes Her Vision

The Blue Moon cycle has just concluded.  It is a time to reflect on where we are, a pause in the normal progression of cycles.  

What lays before me is a time of care, a time of caring

I sit with my spirit guides in my safe and sacred place
Jesus on the left end
Buddha on the right
Flanked left by She Who Heals, who Serves the Truth
Flanked right by Sunset Woman, who Lives the Truth

Where is Becomes Her Vision?
Her place is between
She is here, with me
I feel the vibrations of Being as I hear her voice

"You have the tools you need to do the job you need to do.
What you need will be there when you need it.
You are not done learning and growing, but you have learned and grown enough
to move out, move beyond
and take your place among the sharing.

With each cycle, the wisdom you need will present itself.
You have learned to nurture yourself,
to look within.
There, you will find your strength, your wisdom.
Each year, you will revisit and refresh your access to all
the medicine the Grandmothers have to teach,
to remember again how it touches your whole self.
We are here, all of us,
with you and within you always."

And with that, I begin to hear soft murmurs,
humming sweet and low, the sound of soft summer rain.
I feel the souls of my extended wisdom circle and many whom I have not yet named
Surrounding me, supporting me, part of me.

And I know, just for a moment
what it is to be part of ALL
And I know that to heal is to bring that Joy of connection
to what must be healed.

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